I slept horribly last night. Bad dream's, interrupted sleep and a lot of sweat. What the hell is going on? Today I feel unsure of myself.
I don't mind if the model feels unsure of himself, it adds depth that I think everyone can relate to. Most guys pose for the experience, there vanity or the fantasy, it is rare that guys do this for the money (because I don't pay that much ) this guy said he was here for the money. A 19-year-old "straight" boy from Utah. I mean no offense to straight men, but this boy was far too kind and sensitive to be straight. However it was not my mission nor my job to pull him out of the closet. All I wanted to do was... capture his emotion, improve my skill set and see him without pants on.
Our session was interrupted by my roommate who said she was going to be out all day. ( I must've done this drawing 10 years ago, it's been forever since I've had a roommate.) After she came home he got really nervous ( understandably) it's awkward to be sitting around naked and have someone walk in and see you, unexpectedly. I offered to pay him, he refused to take the money saying that "he didn't work the full two hours and we can get together again sometime."
Noteworthy: he picked this pose, for a first pose. This is kind of a balls out (literally) it's as if his body was saying " here I am. I'm young beautiful and sexy." And then his right arm is saying " let's not get crazy, please don't hurt me." And his left-handed fist said that He was terrified.